Thursday, March 21, 2013

.....of a Long Distance Relationship.

Alright, I know. I did it again. I should stop apologizing. If anyone out there is still faithfully reading: kudos to you! You rock! Okay so, it's time I spoke out and let the world know. I am in love. No not "he's so cute and i love when he holds my hand. he gives me butterflies." No. The deep, all-consuming, head-over-heels, can't/won't live without, hit it out of the park, could last forever kind of love. The crazy part? He loves me back. No doubt in my mind. I know for a fact he does. The same way. But that's not what this is about... 

There is something....different... about our relationship. You see, I live in Tennessee. He... well  doesn't. He lives in South Carolina. Now fortunately, it's not the other side of the country or overseas or anything (yet) but it's still hard. Now I know what you're thinking. Why? How? 

We're in love. That's why. That's all that matters to us.


How? That's a little harder of an explanation. What everyone says about LDRs is true. It's hard. Really hard. I won't lie about that. It is. But... it is doable. It really is. You just have to want/love the person bad enough to wait. And I do. If you think you can't do it. You're wrong. You can. You just have to find it in you.
You have to find the determination. 
The determination to wait. The determination to stop at nothing to keep this person despite the pain. Yes. It's hard not seeing them. Really hard. But if you know it's the right person for you, the determination will come.
You have to find the encouragement.
 People will think you're nuts. Especially if you're not married or anything. People will look at you like your relationship will fail. They will feel like it's not "real" because you don't get to do the whole "dating" thing. But if you love them, no of that matters. People's thoughts won't matter to you. Surround yourselves with the ones who believe in you. Talk to your person a a lot about the love you have and you will always find the will  to wait and make it work.
You have to have acceptance.
You have to accept that they won't always have time to talk to you every minute of everyday. You HAVE to accept that they do have somewhat of a life outside of you and you have to let them live it. If they love you, they will return to you/remind you they still love you whenever they possibly can. They aren't cheating on you. Thy aren't hanging out with people you don't like. They're just busy. This becomes very important in a LDR. They aren't forgetting about you. They will talk to you when they can. Just hang in there. You also have to accept that they will also have other people in their lives too. Not just you. That doesn't mean you're less important. It's just part of it. 
YOU HAVE TO HAVE TRUST.
That speaks for itself. Trust him/her. S/he loves you. S/he is not going to leave you. Just relax. I know that's easier said than done but consider the source, I have the world's worst trust issues. or did. If I can find it in me to turn someone 400 miles away, you can too. It will all be okay. I promise. 
Commitment.
Don't mess around with anyone else, put yourself in the opportunity for temptation, don't even think lusty thoughts about someone else. Nothing good will come of it. Your wo/man should be enough for you if you say you love them and are willing to wait.
Obviously, patience is important.
I know, I know. This is probably the hardest part. I also didn't think I had patience yet here I am. Sitting in my room, writing you all about how it's a key in distance. You know it too. If you didn't have patience, you honestly would not be able to make it through so if you are in one, you have patience. I know it isn't easy and NO ONE likes it but has to be done if you want the result. Just keep yourself busy and it becomes a little easier. A little. 
And finally, You have to find the strength. 
I didn't think I had any. Not just physically but psychologically. If you are in a long distance relationship, you have a killer amount of strength. You may not even realize it. I normally don't myself and I'm the one telling you that you do. It takes a lot to hold on so tightly for something that brings you so much pain. You want your person so much you're willing to fight through it. That's Strength. I have it. You have it. We all have it. 

These aren't all that it takes, you obviously have to have passion, and love, and of course chemistry, but these are the parts you have to have in your own way in order to meet your person at least halfway. It's the only way a LDR will work. You both have to want it. You both have to do the work. If you love hem and they love you, it will work out. I promise. I truly now believe that love really does conquer all. <3 nbsp="">

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