I must say, I absolutely adore these things. But now when I actually think about it, they depress me. When you're the girl who cannot keep and hold onto a friend to save your life, they're not so cute anymore. To me it represents the lost friendships. A heart broken in half. Resembles separation for me. I am just terrible at keeping friends. For the first time ever, I do not have one legitimate best friend(girl). I do not why nor do i know what is wrong with me. Am I really that bad that I get strung along for a year, maybe longer, then all of a sudden *poof* "Nope bye, Kaycie. Found better."? Best friends become aquaintanes, then fade to "oh hey! long time no see!" Then promises are made to catch up, which of course are never, ever kept. And the ones whom I've not lost, are hanging on by a thin, tiny fiber of thread. I just wish that there was someone I could legitimately call 'BFF', because the ones I thought were, clearly do not meet the criteria anymore.
My dearest Kaycie,
ReplyDeleteIsn't it better to have those few friends that are ALWAYS there for you, but not necessarily always around, than to not have anyone at all.I know what you're going through, somewhat on a different level. I don't have many people that I can actually call "best friends". But, really, what is a best friend? Someone that you can talk to? No. Not always. Just because you're talking doesn't mean they're listening. (think about that WONDEROUS! video we watched in Swiateck's room about listening.) I know that may not be something you want to hear, but most of the time, it's true. They're just waiting for you to get done talking. Or at least that's the way it is in my case. Or is a friend someone that always cheers you up? No. Not necessarily. If they do cheer you up, that's great! But somewhere deep inside, you know that those feelings that they made go away will come back. It will only be temporary. A friend can't just make everything go away. So, what is a best friend? A best friend is that one person, ONE PERSON (or more, depending.), that you can come up to after not talking to them in what may seem like forever, and talk like you were just with them yesterday. That's a true friend.
Even if everything I just said makes no sense, or isn't what you wanted or needed, I still wanted you to know. I wanted you to know because it's not that it's your fault. You're not the problem.
I L<3VE YOU. And I will always be your friend. ALWAYS.
Thank you, dear. (: and well, I don't want to let go of them. but what if hodling on, fighting wiht all you have to keep it alive, is what's killing you? Trying to keep something alive while the other doesn't try wither. isn't working. ya know? i get what you mena up here. and i didn't mean it to come across that way. I'm just tired of fighting and getting nothing in return.
ReplyDeleteAll that you can do is be the best friend and person you can be to everyone you meet. Sometimes they won't be that way in return, and sometimes you will lose people, but that's part of the whole friendship deal. "You win some, you lose some."
ReplyDeleteI know you don't want to let go of your friends, but sometimes that's what it takes. You should just worry about Kaycie. If they are really worth being your friend, or if they are true friends, then in the end they will realize how great you truly are. All you have to do is be there and be the best best friend you can be. I know it hurts when you give it all you got and you still are the second choice. The one that people only want to be there when they have no one else. I know what that's like, and I've learned over time that you can't work and work and work for someone to be your friend. You are a great person and it's not like this is the only part of your life. You're going to lose friends, but the ones in high school aren't always the ones that are there forever. You'll find that friend eventually. (:
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ReplyDeleteit's just, yeah. idk. it's complicated. Said person has made a huge impact in my life. Said person has changeed me forever. Said person is one of the most important people to me. i can't lose said person...because it wouldn't be said person's loss. it would be mine.
ReplyDeletewho is this said person? obviously you don't wanna say the name, but it would be easier if you did. and I know what you mean.
ReplyDeletenot saying (:
ReplyDeletetell me! (: pwease?
ReplyDeletenope (:
ReplyDelete